Indeed, entering NUS was a difficult choice. Being prestigious, everything here would definitely be 10 times more demanding than all my other neighbourhood schools and what people claimed to be a "lousy" polytechnic that I have attended. Yes, maybe i wouldn't even have the chance to step foot in NUS if i entered the other polytechnics. I knew that if i decided to come here, I would have to give my utmost effort. However, i feel like Jack in the Titanic movie, sinking deeper and deeper into the waters. I still remembered being super depressed after seeing my semester 1 results. Even though i managed to scrap through my chemistry, it left a mark in my CAP, pulling it down like how the Titanic sank. My dreams of doing honours are slipping further and further away from me. I felt so ashamed of myself. Being the worst out of all my friends. Indeed, they should be better than me for they came from a junior college background. But deep inside... I still... At least i am not the only one who feels this way. At least i can talk to my RP senior about it because we are in the same exact position. At least I have my diploma to fall back on. At least...
I don't dare to think about my upcoming results at the end of the month... Will there be a difference? Would someone save me like how Rose got rescued? Or would I continue to sink deeper into the ocean just like Jack, never to resurface again? It remains a question to be answered...
Really, sometimes you just have to be content with what you are given. Even if the end isn't sweet, I would just have to accept it. Cause what can i do apart from that? Ultimately, dreams are dreams, not reality...
