5 days to mid-terms

I feel like i am gonna breakdown any time. I know i am too pessimistic and worry too much, but i cant help it, especially when i compare myself to the rest. Maybe its the way i was brought up, or the environment that i have been in. Hearing people beside me saying "Woah, its J1/J2 work!" during lectures can be super demoralizing. Yeah, to you guys, it can seem to be so easy. But for me, a person not belonging to anywhere, not even a top polytechnic, it sends shivers down my spine. I want to be like the rest. But i simply cant. After yesterday's chatting session, I realise its either i am wayy too stressed or they are too relaxed. In one way or another, i have to admit that i am a perfectionist. I cant stand failure. What may seem good for you may not necessarily be the same to me. Damn. I think i have bottled up my feelings for too long. Maybe i should just... What if... A cry should suffice, de-stress. High expectations... what should i do? I know my dear friends in monash are feeling the same way... I wished i could fly over right now to give them a hug, to comfort them as well as myself, cause we are in the same boat. No way to go now, either do or die. By hook or by crook, i have to endure. If i can survive this semester, i will be able to survive the rest. If my mid-terms crash, i would ... go out to the world and work? Uncertainties...

1 MONTH INTO UNIVERSITY LIFE...

seriously, i have never felt so tired before. imagine having to do 3 lab reports a week, tonnes of tutorials, tonnes of tests and whatnots. this was the reason why i didnt want to enter a junior college. i have had a taste of what is it like to be in a junior college. but alas, i cant escape the fact that university life is like that too. every single day after lessons, i have to return home, eat dinner, start my tutorials/lab reports and then revise what has been taught earlier in the day. no time for anything else. to cut short, i have simply no life. my daily routine = wake up, go for lessons, return home, do tutorials and whatnots, mug, sleep. AND THIS INCLUDES MY WEEKENDS. how boring can it be. to be exact, life in RP was simply slacky. I used to worry during PP and FYP. but seriously, that is chicken feet compared to this. I am afraid i cant hang on. I am standing on a soon to be worn out rope, trying to hold on for my dear life. i always tell myself to perserve and you will reap what you sow. but to be honest, i dont even know if i can wait till then.

STACY, THIS IS THE LAST HURDLE TO OVERCOME. ONCE YOU HAVE OVERCOME, EVERYTHING WILL BE A BREEZE. ITS JUST 4 YEARS. IT WILL PASS IN A BLINK. HANG ON. DONT GIVE UP. EVERYTHING WILL BE ALRIGHT. YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE TO SUPPORT YOU. JIAYOU!