Thursday, 3 November 2011

Life is such a joke...

When I thought everything was over, and happiness was finally here, the bomb dropped on me...

My sister walked into the room with a weird expression on her face, and dropped the earth-shaking news to me. Dad had just been retrenched from his job. At that moment, my face turned red hot and tears came streaming down like nobody's business. Our sole bread winner is now gone. Images flashed through my mind, all those difficult times where we didn't even have enough to eat. No allowances for school, having to give up all my savings to help pay for bills etc. I know this is what we would have to face sooner or later. Why? Why is it always us? Do you know how hard is it for us, when i can't even find the time to work and help lessen his burden? No one knows about this. Even if they knew, what can they do? Not one of our relatives helped us through the last time, except for one. This time, i am prepared for the worst, having to give up my meagre savings again. I want to help him so much but i can't. That's why i used to admire my friends who went to the workforce instead of continuing their studies. At least they can help... All i can do is to pray and hope he can find another job soon, before our savings (no, they are not even savings cause we don't even have) depletes.

Bomb no. 2 dropped on me this morning via a sms. She was the closest friend i ever had in secondary school. The moment i heard the news, i was in a frenzy, rushing to wash up and zoomed straight to her house. Again, tears came rolling down, i don't know what else to do other than consoling her, saying its okay, don't cry. It is easy for say but i know the hurt is there for a dead person won't be coming back. I imagine her to be me - I'll probably be wailing like crazy. This happened during my poly days when my mum was rushed to A&E for breathing difficulties and angina. I cried for days, the house was so quiet, no one to breathe me down my neck, do my things for me.. I thought what if she never came back. what if...

At the age of 21, my major milestone turns out to be this way... Why? I've had enough of obstacles throughout my teenage years. What else now? My turn next? (cause i know i'll probably need a ultrasound soon due that damn problem)

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