有时候，我们只需要放手

Never in my life had i been in such close contact with a macaque, let alone a group of ~25 macaques at close range. It's such a eye-opener to be able to see such stuffs, all thanks to my eco project. Well, maybe i shouldnt be thanking eco cause it has been sucking up most of my recess week. Had a hard time before our proposal was finally accepted. Had been wanting to do the white-vented myna but since they wanted quantitative data, there was nothing we could do but abundance or diversity; and after our recce trip to kent ridge park, due to the rain we missed the early dawn time and didnt manage to see any birds. but we had a pleasant surprise, long-tailed macaques feeding, fighting/playing etc. And so we thought of doing the monkeys instead. Timing wise was bad cause we needed to accomodate to their super early feeding time, but the sightings were wonderful.

Well, digressing, i tried my utmost best to study and understand the different probabilities and distribution but somehow, when i tried doing last year's stats midterm, i didnt know how to do at least half of them questions. Even those that i managed to figure out the answer, I'm not even sure if they are right. This is the 2nd time that i'm prepared for failure, the 1st being CM1401. As long as i scrape the module without having to repeat, i'm contented. But again, everything has 2 sides. Being able to scrape the module would mean that my already-not-so-fantastic CAP will spiral down like crazy. And there goes my honours. Again, I've learnt to 放开 already so i'm prepared for whatever that comes my way.

With that being said, I still need all the luck in the world for my mid-terms on tues and weds cause who wouldnt want a better grade?

If I Could Turn Back Time

How i wished this sem never came...

I'm dying every lecture during stats - either the lecturer seriously dont know how to teach, or i'm just plain stupid. I can foresee my CAP falling, and maybe i might need to repeat this module again. i dont know. Call me pessimistic but yeah. I'm sort of prepared for it.

The reason why i hate doing group work/project is this - no one in my group cares to get started at all. I always had to be the one leading. I'm exhausted. How i wished i could have better groupmates. Dateline is this thursday and no one, YES NO ONE STARTED ANYTHING YET. And i cant start too because THE TOPIC HASNT EVEN BEEN DECIDED YET. WTF.

My Early Christmas Present :D

As usual, i would dread the sound of the incoming message informing me of my results. This time however, i did not hear it. Either it was too soft or i was dead asleep. When i finally mustered the courage to read it (well, not that i expected myself to do badly; its just that i was afraid of my high expectations). I scanned through and wait a min, did i see something out of the ordinary or were my eyes playing tricks on me? Indeed, it was a pleasant surprise. The first A- in my uni life, and it came from my favourite module forensic science. It was definitely worth that much bid points, the late night lectures at utown and inconvenient trip back home. It was really surprising cause i didn't do quite well for the first CA and this module was competitive as well. Really, i was ecstatic. I have never felt this way in year 1. Well, i hope that this is only the beginning and everything will continue to be smooth-sailing :D

Life is such a joke...

When I thought everything was over, and happiness was finally here, the bomb dropped on me...

My sister walked into the room with a weird expression on her face, and dropped the earth-shaking news to me. Dad had just been retrenched from his job. At that moment, my face turned red hot and tears came streaming down like nobody's business. Our sole bread winner is now gone. Images flashed through my mind, all those difficult times where we didn't even have enough to eat. No allowances for school, having to give up all my savings to help pay for bills etc. I know this is what we would have to face sooner or later. Why? Why is it always us? Do you know how hard is it for us, when i can't even find the time to work and help lessen his burden? No one knows about this. Even if they knew, what can they do? Not one of our relatives helped us through the last time, except for one. This time, i am prepared for the worst, having to give up my meagre savings again. I want to help him so much but i can't. That's why i used to admire my friends who went to the workforce instead of continuing their studies. At least they can help... All i can do is to pray and hope he can find another job soon, before our savings (no, they are not even savings cause we don't even have) depletes.

Bomb no. 2 dropped on me this morning via a sms. She was the closest friend i ever had in secondary school. The moment i heard the news, i was in a frenzy, rushing to wash up and zoomed straight to her house. Again, tears came rolling down, i don't know what else to do other than consoling her, saying its okay, don't cry. It is easy for say but i know the hurt is there for a dead person won't be coming back. I imagine her to be me - I'll probably be wailing like crazy. This happened during my poly days when my mum was rushed to A&E for breathing difficulties and angina. I cried for days, the house was so quiet, no one to breathe me down my neck, do my things for me.. I thought what if she never came back. what if...

At the age of 21, my major milestone turns out to be this way... Why? I've had enough of obstacles throughout my teenage years. What else now? My turn next? (cause i know i'll probably need a ultrasound soon due that damn problem)

お誕生日おめでとうございます

Finally crossed a major milestone in my life - 21 years altogether.

21 years of tears, fun, joy and laughter.
So grateful to have my family and friends with me to celebrate it.
Was actually kinda last minute decision to plan one, but there were no regrets for I know these memories will last to the day I die.
Special thanks to NIGHTMARE @ SOW 2010, the first bunch to friends I made in my uni life, full of spontaneity and craziness (I can't wait for our Langkawi trip in Dec).
Also to my 2 best friends since secondary school - Amie and Zaty. Time flies and here we are, 8 years of friendship, and many more years to go.
A pity my poly mates and former colleagues didn't make it; was a bit disappointed but... nevermind (:


With everything settled, it's back to studies - 4 consecutive CAs + 2 reports not done.
Mug and mug all the way to finals and it's sem 2.
Seriously, time flies... and it will soon be year 3 of my uni life...

Happily Ever After (:

Attended my first friend's wedding on saturday (2nd Oct). Although it was a simple one, i felt the LOVE everywhere. So nice to have someone there for you all the time, promising to love and care for you til the day you part with each other, with the wedding ring being the link between 2 person.

The 幸福 Couple with 7 yrs worth of memories

I forgot how old I was at that time, but I remember telling myself I wanted to get married by the age of 25. Well, I'm reaching 21 in 2 weeks time and my 桃花 has yet to arrive. HAHA. My friends were saying we're lonely hearts, and the LOVE atmosphere that day made us all feel like getting married. Don't even have time to finish studying, where on earth do i have time to get a fish? Studies are a priority now, especially if i wanna get into honours; which reminds me that I'll have a lonely year ahead with most of my friends gone for their SEP. Well, money makes the world goes round doesn't it?

Back to Studies :D

Finally, its back to studies. I've cleared all the camps and returned 3X darker than i was before, thanks to the double sun-tanning trips to sentosa for war games during SOW and the extra one during RAG DAY recently.

Many memories were made, and this reminded me of SOW 2010 when I first entered NUS, with no friends. 1 year down the road, I'm proud to say I've made many friends from SOW 2010, SOW 2011, lectures, laboratories etc. And they will accompany me down the long road of university study :D

On a side note, I went for my 1st forensic science lecture on friday and it was really an eye-opener. Well, some of the photographs were too much for me and I have them in the back of my mind even till now. This serves as a reminder to me not to take life for granted. Seeing all the different ways and methods those offenders can think of and commit, it really leads me to think: how can they withstand the goreness and cruelty to want to dismember their victims? If they can have such high tolerance to carry out such thing, why can't they use it to admit that they did indeed carry out those gruesome acts? Well, they may get punished but the scar is already there... Now, even when crossing the road, I exercise greater care than before cause I really don't wanna end up like them... Not that its my fault or anything, just that those pictures jolted me up...